Track: So Far Away.... (Staind)
Time: 1731hrs...
Quote: Our eyes gives us sight.... Our heart gives us INsight...
[ Reflections - badly needed ]
Okie... Time to let a lot of things off my chest... First of all, this is going to be an unpredictable post.. Maybe too long, or too short... Or very anti-climax... But I hope in the process, I won't hurt anybody's feelings....
Let's talk about post-College day.... When we (Council both 6th and 7th) stayed back.... The gathering at Student's Centre.... Hmmm... There was very mixed feelings, as what I can sense in the atmosphere.... Some people looked uncomfortable while others looked serious.... And some too playful..... Hmmm... No offence to 6th SC..... But I think we were kinda rude at times, the bunch of us near the counter..... Me included of course...... We made noise when Mr Tong was talking to 7th SC..... And it probably reflected bad on us.... One key-point here?...... (-ve) Probably one weakness 6th SC had along the way was drawing the line between having fun have being self-disciplined.... Then again, this is my own opinion and other people might feel otherwise....
Looking at the good side?.... (+ve) We did have a good time and did quieten down at times when the issues mentioned by Mr Tong were more grave than others.... Yepz.... This made me feel glad inside...... ^^ We listened attentively and that was a good thing...
Hmmm.... Then came the gathering in Concourse when we were waiting for everyone....... It went high.... Rounds of mass dance, fun dance and pole-ing... Again.... (+ve) spirit was high...... (-ve) not knowing when to stop...... Hmmm.... Yah lah.... This I agree... when we're high, it's quite hard to know when to step on the brakes..... Haha.... likewise, we enjoyed ourselves too..... just that..... there were some pioneers still at the concourse... and their impression of us...... I just wonder sometimes....
Dinner at Pizza hut..... Kind of an eye opener... Sat at the table with Su, Soon Leng, Teck Ming, and Mr Tong.... 5 of us on one side of pizza hut.... Had a meal... And yah, it was good.... The main story here was the discussion we had that revolved around teachers, students, 5th SC and 7th SC.... Went around and explored certain issues pertaining to these 4 topics.... It was interesting at times to know what was going on.... Then again, we see the different sides of human nature.... And we've realised 6th SC has actually grown on a massive scale... in comparison to 5th SC.... And just within ourselves, one year ago.... Gathering rapport and getting mass appeal was no easy task for us..... But we put in the effort and I can proudly say it paid off to a certain extent...
Sharing session before going off.... Heard them giving comments about certain people within the group there...... And when Mr Tong came to comment about me.....
"He's potentially a great capable leader... But I've not worked with him closely before... I don't see him a lot around Council room... Similar to Wei Sheng, who MIA for quite a while..."
Deep down in me...... I felt this tinge of pain.... Because I've never really had the opportunity to do so..... And probably, I'm similar to Zhao Qi..... At times, I have very strong opinions but I don't want to, or prefer NOT to voice out.... Yepz.... I guess this is my weakness.... And relating back to that, I guess this is why I'd rather not stay back and see people work.... Somehow, I feel left out because of not being given the chance to work.... And what was worse was he said "I feel my exco has been heavily taxed..."..... The thing is, there are many of the other Councillors who are willing to work when given the chance..... Sad to say, the term has "unofficially ended".... We've got no more duties.... (Except for Gradnight?... Which is not very hectic anyway....)
Another issue was..... the mentioning of cliques..... Hmmm.... Maybe this is why I sometimes feel distant.... I don't blame them la...... I mean, it's fun to have a group to relate to.... And I do get a sense of satisfaction seeing them happy.... Again, probably this is why sometimes I prefer to go off early rather than hang around Council room...... Anyways.... I don't bother to say much because going off early is not a sin as I don't have much involvement...... I never really wanted to make my presence felt in any sort.... And I guess it's okie..... These people are still my friends and I still have fun in their presence....
I think this speaks a lot about me..... I prefer to stay silent when I'm not comfortable in voicing out.... And many people happen to feel this way too.... The thing I sometimes feel bad is, when I do eventually voice out..... It doesn't come out in a nice way and will most likely hurt the other party.... Those closer to me..... I'm glad I have you guys to talk too.... Both in person as well as online..... Yepz... refering to some of my fellow SC members....
I don't why but as I'm typing this, I'm feeling a huge pang of guilt washing over me..... I think it's probably because knowing those 6SC members who read my blog might feel they fall into that category of people..... Guys, it's okie..... Don't feel this way..... I guess I'm too sensitive..... Even though I don't voice out, I do watch and notice these things that happen.....
In my own personal life too..... I seem to be expecting a lot from the people around me.... Sometimes, I just don't feel understood.... Except by her... Sometimes, nobody listens to what I don't say.... They can't depict my silence... Is the problem here of me not understanding myself?.... That's why I always feel misunderstood?.... Then.... When I try to express myself.... Sometimes I tend to mask my words so I won't hurt others.... But I end up hurting myself instead.... Haiz...
How do I be a better person?...
Mood meter: 2/10
Currently feeling: Resentful of myself.... =(
~What does it take to stand strong?~
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[*]Ariff
[*]Byron
[*]Celestine
[*]Cik Liza
[*]Clarence
[*]Connie
[*]Fahmi
[*]Farhan
[*]Germaine
[*]Geil
[*]Isna Elyana
[*]Jacqueline
[*]Janet
[*]Jasmine
[*]Jie Shi
[*]Jocelyn
[*]Kenneth
[*]Khairu
[*]Khalisah
[*]Levin
[*]Marilyn
[*]Maurice
[*]Melissa
[*]Mr Tong
[*]NazatulFadzlin
[*]Qi Yun
[*]Sakinah
[*]Sharon
[*]Shirlyn
[*]Siti Haneesah
[*]Siti Raudah
[*]Stephanie
[*]Sutrisno
[*]Syafiq
[*]Taufik
[*]Taufik & Serene
[*]Tuck Foong
[*]Vanessa
[*]Wei Quin
[*]Wei Xion
[*]Yina
[*]Yixin
[*]6th SC =)
I open my eyesSimple Plan
Untitled
I try to see but I'm blinded
By the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight
And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain
How could this happen to me?
I made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound
But no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold onto
A time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't
How could this happen to me?
I made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
I've made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
