Today literally just sucked... I was so exhausted from last night (I slept at 2am) and still woke up at around 7am... Then, life went on... Blah... Blah... Blah... Until around 0830hrs, when a fren who I've not talked to for quite some time came online... It was kinda hard 2 get goin into a conversation with her again but eventually did... I guess that it is important on why we should not cut off from our friends... Regardless of anything... At least msg, or call, or talk to them or if not, just a drop a greeting such as a "hello" or "how's everything"... It can make such a big difference to such a small issue... Really, believe me... It does...
Everything was ok so far until around 1015hrs... I was still online with this fren when I had to go off and do something... Worst came to worst, my dad saw the "f" word my friend had written in her msg... I knew it was going be a rough one... And true enough, it did... He open fire and blasted from all angles... He brought back things of the past... Things which I tried so hard to put behind me... Things which I vowed not to do again... But he resurfaced it... His words were literally 10 times more powerful than any laser ever created... It penetrated through my heart and tore a devastating hole... I contained to the best of my ability... I fought back from being rude... If I had it my way, I would have just stood up and left for my room... I sat there, feeling meserable... helpless... misunderstood... agonized... Those words, "mom and dad would always be here for u" are all bullshit... Words used counterfeitly... Lies... Thats it... Sheer lies...
I've never felt understood before... Not by my parents, not by anyone... Nobody knows what resides within the outer me... The inner battles... Sufferings... The scars within me have been ripped open again... The sorrows stored inside were released, gushing out like water out of a dam being eradicated... It flowed continuously... The suppressed torture... grief... anger... People always looked at the bad of others... Not even one word in that flaming blast contained a word of praise... It was all, "why did you do this stupid thing" or "how immature could you have been"... Where is that love?...That understanding... How do I feel a sense of security?... Acceptance?...
These eventually escalated but I found what I needed... I just don't know... Maybe she could understand how I felt... Her comforting words... Her gentle advice... Her logical explainations... Her warm presence... She uncovered what had went on for so long within me... I'm grateful that I have such a special friend... A very open person... I can easily say that she is the one and only person who I really trust now... Be it through joy or sorrow...
Wow... This is quite a long entry... I can go on forever actually... Describing all that resides within me... But I guess this is not the time yet... Before I end off, I just wanna say "THANX EL" for hearing me out... Other peeps... Cya guys around!!!!....
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[*]Ariff
[*]Byron
[*]Celestine
[*]Cik Liza
[*]Clarence
[*]Connie
[*]Fahmi
[*]Farhan
[*]Germaine
[*]Geil
[*]Isna Elyana
[*]Jacqueline
[*]Janet
[*]Jasmine
[*]Jie Shi
[*]Jocelyn
[*]Kenneth
[*]Khairu
[*]Khalisah
[*]Levin
[*]Marilyn
[*]Maurice
[*]Melissa
[*]Mr Tong
[*]NazatulFadzlin
[*]Qi Yun
[*]Sakinah
[*]Sharon
[*]Shirlyn
[*]Siti Haneesah
[*]Siti Raudah
[*]Stephanie
[*]Sutrisno
[*]Syafiq
[*]Taufik
[*]Taufik & Serene
[*]Tuck Foong
[*]Vanessa
[*]Wei Quin
[*]Wei Xion
[*]Yina
[*]Yixin
[*]6th SC =)
I open my eyesSimple Plan
Untitled
I try to see but I'm blinded
By the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight
And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain
How could this happen to me?
I made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound
But no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold onto
A time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't
How could this happen to me?
I made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
I've made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
